"...In the world of people in which we live, driven as it is by the desire to dominate, mislead, and use others for our own material gain, it is perhaps not too surprising that far more effort goes into telling people that they are basically not alright, than into guiding people towards self-acceptance.
"The world at large seems to believe that you have to control other people and use them in order to get more for yourself. A few hours of network television or a visit to the magazine rack at your local news stand will give you an idea of the degree to which our s culture has bought into this unfortunate misunderstanding
And the truth is that most of us are afraid of discovering who we really are. [are we influenced by Freud thinking we have an evil Id inside] and aren't our parents and everyone else always telling us that we can be better? Aren't we always trying to avoid being found out by our teachers, the highway patrol, the boss, the IRS?
In a world where we hide from everyone else, it seems all too natural to hide from ourselves as well. It's no wonder that we have a tendency to see ourselves as intrinsically bad. We all fear that if ever find out who we really are, we won't like ourselves.
Fortunately however, this is not what actually happens when we look honestly within. Gently guided to quiet the outside distractions and to become aware of who they really are, people discover that they do like themselves. In fact, they love themselves. And the thing they like is not that they've made so much money or that they're so famous or so powerful or that they're better than others.
The feeling goes deeper than what they HAVE -- and deeper even than what they've DONE -- to the level of what they ARE. They begin to realize that basically each one of us is lovable. That underneath all the fears of inadequacy that have been programmed into us, each of us is worthy, and deserving of love.
But don't get me wrong. Liking yourself doesn't mean you have to like everything you do. In fact, liking yourself is the most powerful place to start from if you want to change those things that you don't like about yourself. If you like yourself and respect yourself then you have a strong genuine basis for wanting to change your behavior patterns so they'll reflect the beauty that you know is inside you. ..
Miller first comments on the centrality of being able to "quiet the mind" in order to achieve peace, meditate, or get to know oneself:
[...it's so common o hear people say, 'gee, I didn't realize how fast I was going until I slowed down'"]
"To become aware of your self and of the still small voice within is no less important, but you must be willing to move beyond the level at which most people send their lives, busily trying to live up to the expectations of others.
You must be wiling to erase all the negatives, all the fears about what you are not, and the concerns about what you might not get .for a few minutes you must be willing to forget -- what went wrong, or might go wrong, how someone else may be doing it better, how much time this [the relaxation ?] is taking you, how many mistakes you're making along the way, what you did in the past that you weren't proud of, what obstacles may loom in the future, where you will find the resources to achieve your goals.
You must learn to systematically screen such thoughts out of your mind.
Of course, there is an appropriate time for such analytical thinking.. but it's not now.
Indeed, relaxing the mind is not an easy task. In this high-speed, high-tech world, we are so bombarded by stimuli, it is almost impossible to become aware of ourselves.
Indeed, this constant stimulation by the material world is designed to keep us off balance, clutching for things to keep from falling.
These things are then offered to us for a price...
And part of what we pay is then used to create further advertising designed to push us even further off balance. It's a vicious circle. The good news is that the circle can be broken, but only by your being willing to stop [and work with the mind-clearing and then relaxation and then self-acceptance techniques such as those in the tape].